Here we are and its Monday again?
Today I’d like to talk about my Mother and then my daughter. A little over a year ago, I lost both of my parents. My Father had been very ill, so losing him felt a bit like he was finally released from the hell his body and mind had been put through. But my Mother was a different story. She had health issues but we never thought we would lose her only seven weeks to the day after we lost my father. I’d like to say we were unprepared but really we had discussions on things she wanted when choosing those for my Father. Extended family and friends had all just seen her at my Father’s funeral. To tell the truth, these are only small blessings I have seen with the passing of time. Not a day goes by I don’t think of my Mom and miss our relationship.
My Mother, (Grammy, to Stevie the rest of the grandkids,) was this amazing woman who could master any skill she wanted to. She had a brilliant mind and we looked to her for advice and help when we needed it. I was always amazed at how when my children would be mad at me for one thing or another, they could call her and she could calm them – all while taking my side. I remember one particularly difficult encounter she had with a pre-teen Stevie where she got right in her face and said….“you may be mad at her but she is still MY DAUGHTER and I won’t tolerate you talking to her that way”
When my Mother was growing up, they had very little. her own mother passed away when she was only 12 years old. They had a fire in their home when she was a child and they lost almost everything. Any trinkets or photos from my Mothers childhood were precious to her, as you can imagine.
One of the things my Mom was so proud of was what she called the “Wedding hanky” it was this very old handkerchief that had been carried by all the brides in her family since about 1870. She carried it, I carried it, my sister, my brother’s wife, and finally my niece. For me, as I held it on that day I thought of all the generations past who walked with this beautiful “something old” and how they embarked on the institution of marriage with all the hopes and dreams young brides do. My parents were married 51 years when they passed away, how amazing for only being 72 themselves.
We are still cleaning out my Mother’s house, hoping for it to sell soon and we can all move forward. The one thing we have not found is this wedding hanky. My niece, the last one to use it, said she had given it back to Grammy. We found the little pouch my Mom always kept it in but we never found the hanky itself. This weekend, over 500 days since she left us, my sister found the hanky. It was buried inside a piece of furniture that she usually kept her knitting in. OK it was just one of the sixty five places she kept yarn and knitting and crocheting supplies. My sister was emptying it to take back to her home when she found it about half way down amongst the yarn.
What a blessing. It is just like my Mom to make us all wonder and wait to see if the hanky would ever reappear. Generations to come will still be able to hear the story of this amazing woman.
On to Stevie…when Terry asked me for her hand in marriage, he made me promise not to tell anyone. During my Mom’s last few hours I woke her and told her my secret. Terry had bought a ring and he and Stevie were going to get married. She could only grin, but I could see in her eyes the joy she was feeling. She loved her first grandchild so very much. About a month later, Stevie called to tell me she was engaged ( a story she will have to post one day) and after all the excitement and congrats, I finally was able to tell her. She knew. Grammy knew she was going to be married, and we all loved Terry. At first Stevie didn’t understand but when I explained it to her she cried and cried. Perhaps she can tell you the emotions that welled up, but that will be up to her.
I think you, the readers are feeling it right now. If you still have your Mom, call her right now and tell her how much she means to you and how much you love her. You will never ever regret it.
Love, Mom xxxooo